Leaving Tel Aviv: Day Trip to Masada and the Dead Sea

One of the things I do love about Israel is how varied it is in topography in such a small area.  This means that getting from the dry desert plateaus to the lush northern mountains is only a drive or bus ride away.  Israel's size also makes it easy to get out of any metropolis, including Tel Aviv, to quickly reach a destination flush with natural beauty.

So, when my friend's from the states swung by for a, Israeli wedding and invited me for a "day trip" to Masada and the Dead Sea, I simply could not refuse. We decided to leave Tel Aviv at night (~12:45am), and arrived at the foot of Masada by around 2:30am. We pulled into the parking lot at the eastern entrance where there are picnic tables, garbage cans, and restrooms close by. We then had time to drink some coffee, eat some snacks and get organized before heading up the snake path at around 4:00am to catch the sunrise.

As you can see, during our walk up and after we arrived at the top, we encountered a hefty number of tourists, mostly Birthright participants.  So, I elbowed my way through towards the rising sun to try and snag some iconic shots of the sunrise over Masada.  

Me, harnessing the power of the sun between my fingertips! 

In addition to the countless Birthright teens and post-teens that dotted the face of the desert plateau, we also encountered a well-attended bar-mitzvah which I assume had commenced in darkness.  If you take a look at the photo below, you can see their congregation in the far back.

We wandered around checking out the main attractions: the synagogue, the baths, the water storage and well-preserved frescos and mosaics from Herod's palace.  We tried our best to creep close-enough towards the Birthright groups on their 10-day trip to Israel so we could overhear the guides explain various anecdotes and historical Israel facts, but once the sun started getting hotter, we decided it was time to head back down. 

So we stumbled back down the snake path and back to our car, pulled out a map, and headed towards the nearest accessible dead-sea beach that provides dead-sea mud.  We ended up at the Ein Gedi Spa which offers tourists access to their beach, their spa, their showers and their mud. They have a variety of different packages depending on the level of luxury you are looking for.  We, of course, took the cheapest package and proceeded to pull on our bathing suits and head to take a dip in the salty sea. 

 We bathed in the sulfurous water until our skin started burning. Then we headed towards the hot salt-water springs, the wet mud, and their lovely chlorinated swimming pool before showering off and heading home.

Some shots of the dead sea on the way back:

Definitely a fantastic day/night trip that I highly recommend to anyone in Israel: tourist or resident alike.

If you have questions, or need more info about the trip, e-mail me or leave your comment here!

Americans who don't know sh#$t about Israel.

I know these things are always edited to showcase the dumbest of the dumb...but really?!  I mean, seriously?

Watch this and you will feel smart.

These college kids must have killed all of their brain cells doing bong hits and keg stands at some crazy frat party.

Is Netanyahu a little boy or a parody of himself?

Photo Credit: Donkey Hotey

I know what you're thinking: the gray hair, the wrinkles, the suit.  But if you take a look at the way Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu interacts with the media, you might think he was a little boy. Either that, or he's a complete parody of himself. I can't decide.

Photo Credit: HuffPost

Let's take a closer look and examine...

The Evidence

Exhibit A) Can't say "I'm sorry".
Everyone knows that killing and war is bad and peace and compromise is good, but sometimes bad things happen. What happened with Turkey and the flotilla, may have been avoidable, or it may not.  But the bottom line is that 9 people died, the Turks got really mad, and the rest of the world also seemed pretty upset. Now the Turks want an apology. But noooooooooooo.  That would be far too mature.

Exhibit B) Can't take responsibility.
It was less than a month ago that Foreign Minister Avigdor Lieberman took the opportunity to smear Turkey, the PA and the Prime Minister Netanyahu himself, and Netanyahu didn't do much to stop or admonish him.

Industry, Trade and Labor Minister Binyamin Ben-Eliezer criticized Lieberman, saying he should not be representing the government. Speaking to Israel Radio, Ben-Eliezer said that Netanyahu should stop Lieberman from publicly expressing opinions which are not those of the government.

Also speaking Monday, opposition leader Tzipi Livni said that Netanyahu is not correct in saying that the foreign minister does not represent the government's position. Rather, she said, Netanyahu is responsible for Lieberman. (S ource)


Exhibit C) Loves to play the blame game.
It's never his fault that things work out.  In fact, if you ask Netanyahu, Israel has done absolutely everything right when it comes to the peace process. It's the PA and White House that keep playing games and messing things up.

"The government, in my leadership, is striving to achieve peace. This is our target and objective – to reach an agreement in negotiations with the Palestinians," Netanyahu said Thursday. "Unfortunately, the Palestinians have thus far been evading negotiations." (Source)


Netanyahu said that contrary to what was reported, "I told Obama that I am prepared to go with this to the cabinet and that I will be able to enforce [the settlement freeze], but then I received the surprising phone call from the Americans who said they no longer demand that Israel extends the freeze." (Source)


Exhibit D) Always looks really weird on TV and in interviews...like he's made of rubber or something.
Is it just me? Check him out on Bill Mahr in 2006, and now look at him on Larry King Live in 2010.  Is this really him, or is it a parody of him? Or is it a little boy comedian in a Netanyahu suit? I seriously can't tell.

Photo Credit: John Springs for  The New York Review of Books

Members of the jury.... I leave it to you to decide!

Israeli Carob Trees Smell Like Sex

 
The Israeli carob tree smells like semen. It smells like wet, fresh, potent semen. Yes, I'm talking about what some of you out there refer to as sperm, cum, jizz,baby batter,man chowder, man seed, nut, protein shake or spooge.

Seriously, I have no idea how I never noticed this until this year, my fourth in Israel.  Maybe, after cutting down on my casual smoking my sense of smell has been revived.  Maybe this year, the autumn scents have been especially strong. or maybe its hormonal. Whatever the reason, it has become overwhelming.

It started in October, the beginning of blooming season, and, despite the fact that it's December, the smell still lingers. Tel Aviv, Haifa, Eilat, you name it. In Jerusalem it's especially obscene. It's inescapable, really. I smell it on my bike rides to work, on my walks down the street, and on short weekend hikes.

The likeness is so uncanny that I frequently find myself peering into dark corners searching for the perv who might be standing there jacking off, or the couple who might be getting off by messing around in public.  But I always end up face to face with the nasty Israeli carob tree.

Gag me.

Obscene Carob Tree Photo courtesy of survivaliq.com

Yom Kippur 2010

Yom Kippur in Israel is almost magical.  Nearly everything stops.  Everything is quiet. No cars, trucks or scooters pollute the roads; no construction noises pollute the air and no radios blare with music.  Everything is still. That is, except for the bicycles.  If you an Israeli kid under the age of 18 and you don't have a bicycle to ride on Yom Kippur, your parents are abusing you.  This is a day where the streets are filled with people, dressed in white as a symbol of purity, coming and going from the synagogue; children speeding through the roads with skateboards, bicycles and roller skates; and mothers sitting in plastic lawn chairs int he middle of the street.

My boyfriend, Yotam, my friend Eyal and I took this opportunity to visit our friend who lives in Rishon L'Tsion, a suburb which is about 20 minutes drive south of Tel Aviv. It took us about 40 minutes by bicycle as we stopped in towns like Bat Yam along the way.

Here's a short video I put together of Yom Kippur Evening and Yom Kippur Day so that you all can get an idea of what it's like.





*NOTE*: blog address at the end of the video is INCORRECT!
Correction: http://therayve.blogspot.com

National Geographic Top Ten Beach Cities: Tel Aviv Is #9!

Gordon Beach in Tel Aviv

According to National Geographic, Tel Aviv is the #9 best beach city in the world.  Who knew?! Well basically everyone, at this point: the article came out nearly a month ago. While us Tel Avivians happily accept the compliment, I can't help wondering what it means, exactly.

 A "Top Ten Beach City": is it a true and full assessment of the city+beach combination?  Did they concoct some scientific formula that calculates how the awesomeness of both beach and city are mutually dependant?  Do they evaluate the beach and city separately? Is it just another "Top Ten" title to draw readers and internet surfers?  Or are they just a list of cool cities that happen to have beaches nearby? I'm not quite sure what NG's criteria was, but it certainly couldn't be clean sands and crystal clear water:  The Tel Aviv beaches are laden with cigarettes and plastic crap, paddle ball players and dogs.

And yet, the N.G. team labled Tel Aviv the "Miami Beach on the Mediterranian". While I won't argue with the awesomeness of Tel Aviv, and I can't contend with the fact that the beach definitely adds to the value of the city....I do have some issues with their little blurb:

"Call it Miami Beach on the Med. Tel Aviv is the Dionysian counterpart to religious Jerusalem. In the “bubble,” as it’s known for its inhabitants’ tendency to tune out regional skirmishes, some restaurants, discos, and clubs are open until dawn. By day, the scene shifts to the city’s promenade and eight miles (13 kilometers) of beach literally steps from town. Head to wide and sandy Gordon Beach to sit in a seaside café or take a dip in the saltwater pool."

Whatever you call Tel Aviv, it is definitely not Miami Beach. Miami Beach is known for having some of the cleanest, sandiest, most well patrolled beaches in the United States. Not to mention the availability of public facilities.  Much of Miami Beach is also privately owned, unlike the beach in Tel Aviv which is entirely public. This has most likely led to the general lack of clean restrooms, working   It is much smaller, much dirtier, and much more crowded.

To be honest, Gordon Beach, the beach that National Geographic specifically highlights, is the one beach that I typically avoid.  Due to the width of its sandy coast, beach events are frequently set up there including beach volley ball, concerts and other special activities.  It is cradled by the beginning of the hotel strip which has made it conducive to the settlement of cheesy bars, tourist oriented kiosks (bodegas), and overpriced fast food restaurants.  Of course, all of these events, bars and hotels has made Gordon Beach possibly the most polluted beach in all of Tel Aviv.  I refuse to go in the water. Its usually swimming with plastic bags, bottles and warm with the urine of young European toddlers.

Photo from treehugger.com

All of that said, I love this city and there is something about the dirtiness that in some way implies freedom.  Don't get me wrong.  I'm not promoting littering or pollution.  However.  There are no policemen patrolling the Tel Aviv beaches. There are very few signs prohibiting this and warning you of that.  While there are life guards on duty till about 6:00pm, and they do their job well,(despite the fact that they abuse their speaker-phone at times to whistle at good looking women) they aren't angry, reprimanding or cruel. You can set up your blanket on the beach, crack open a beer, lie out in the sun, and do your thing.

In the end of things, dirty or not, the beach is always a promise of freedom: the possibility of escape, the suggestion of new worlds unknown that lay just beyond the horizon.  It's a place where you can strip down and show your skin.  You can feel beautiful and healthy.  You can heat up in the sun and cool down in the water. And in Tel Aviv, everyone is welcome.

In Tel Aviv, the beach saves the city in the summer when the heat becomes unbearable.  The sea makes the heat "worth the while" with calm, pleasant Mediterranean waters and soft sand.  It also contributes to the laid-back attitude, especially regarding dress code.  And, it keeps everyone looking, or trying to look, pretty darn fit.

In the end of things, I don't really care if National Geographic got their facts all right.  They got the gist of it.  Tel Aviv, with its beaches and it's land-life, is a pretty fantastic city.

Secular Vs. Religious: Will it Lead to Civil War?

I got a phone call from my mother the other day and she mentioned my blog post, 'A Jew or Not A Jew: Who Can Say "I Do" In Israel'. She said to me, in frustration, "Ray, I don't understand why your generation isn't up in arms about this issue.  Why aren't you storming the courts and flooding the Knesset with letters?  Don't you want to be able to marry in Israel without having to comply with the demands of the Rabbanut [Rabbinical Court]?"

Well, my mother is right, as mothers usually are...although my mother is especially right being a Reform Jewish Cantor and social activist. What could I say to her in response that would help her to understand the situation between the secular and the religious in Israel? Why don't I storm the Knesset or gather friends to protest for our rights as Secular Jews to marry in Israel as we wish? Why aren't there more secular activists speaking out in the name of the oppressed Israeli atheists?

The first thing I noticed as I sat with a few of my girlfriends last night, some married, some desperate to be married and others simply frightened of the word, was that most people don't really think about the way they do things.  They just do things the way everyone else does it.  People yearn for tradition, and when it comes to weddings, people need tradition.

From the moment of their child/grandchild's birth Jewish mothers and grandmothers wait in anticipation of the wedding day, which they have already sketched out in their heads. It will be beautiful.  He will be Jewish, she will be Jewish and the whole family will be there.  The ceremony will follow the traditions of our ancestors and our ancestors' ancestors.

Many children of my generation, only two generations removed from their grandparents, follow ceremony and tradition blindly specifically because of the fact that it doesn't mean much to them.  They don't see the significance of the rituals or the Rabbinical law, but if it means something to their parents and grandparents...well, they may as well do it their way: the way it's been done for centuries.

There are those couples who just can't be bothered to go through the whole dance with the Rabbanut that is required before getting married.  They fly off to Cypress to avoid the long process. And there are the few who take a moment to think twice.  They do exist and they do care.

So why don't these few make a big stink?

Hypothetical: Let's say the secular, or non-Orthodox, did storm the Knesset with letters to protest the marriage system; let's say we even set up protests in Jerusalem.  I believe our fate would be the same as the Women of the Wall (נשות הכותל).  The Women of the Wall is "a group of Jewish women from around the world who strive to achieve the right for women, to wear prayer shawls, pray and read from the Torah collectively and out loud at the Western Wall (Kotel)  in Jerusalem, Israel".


The Women of the Wall have attempted several times to protest the strict guidelines imposed by Israeli Law via the religious right to deny women the right to conduct Jewish ceremony or prayer services at the Western Wall, the last standing wall of what was once the Second Temple and what is considered the holiest Jewish site in the world.  


Only a month or so ago, the group convened at 7 am in front of the Western Wall with a Torah Scroll and conducted the traditional ceremonial prayer service in honor of the new moon.  The all-female group convened in the women's section- being that the Wall is divided into two sections. 2/3 of the wall is sectioned off for men and 1/3 is left for women. According to Orthodox Judaism, women are a distraction to men, should not be visible or audible when men are praying, and really have no reason to be praying at all. 


Not long after the Women of the Wall began their ceremony, men on the other side of the divide began shouting nasty comments and throwing things over the divide.  As Anat Hoffman, leader of the group began to lead the group in song toward Robinson's Arch with Torah in arms, the women encountered what they described as a "blockade" of police who arrested Anat for "not praying in conjunction with the traditional customs of the Kotel [Western Wall]".


Here we have a group of Jewish women forbidden from practicing Judaism at the holiest Jewish site in the world. Here we have a secular Israeli policeman removing a religious Israeli woman from a religious site because Orthodox Jews do not agree with her way of practicing Judaism. Her Judaism offends them. If there are violent reactions towards progressive female Jews from the Orthodox, imagine how the religious would react to secular demonstrators.


But it is not only fear of violence that deters young secular Israelis from taking a stand.  There is an epidemic of widespread cynicism and apathy among Israelis of my generation who intentionally distance themselves from anything remotely connected with religion.


Take, for example, the fact that this story didn't come up once in conversation with my friends: my friends who are educated politically aware secular Jews; my friends, most of whom finishing up their masters theses in everything from International Relations and Special Needs Education to Chemistry and Archaeology.

How is it that my friends simply don't find this to be a compelling story?

Israeli youth is extremely jaded.  To deal with politicians is to dirty oneself with the politics of Israel.  Nearly every one of my friends believes that there is hardly one clean politician left in Israel.  It's nearly impossible to avoid corruption.

And anyway, who has the time and financial stability to take off from work and protest?  Most of my friends, like me, can barely pay my electricity and water bills and are moving from apartment to apartment year after year as our landlords hike up our rent.

Money, though, is a poor excuse. What is money if one has no freedom, right?

Well, if somehow the secular youth were to organize and stampede the Knesset...if it were to occur...if we could somehow make it happen... what then? What might happen?  All out civil war.

As it is, the religious right is easily persuaded to use violence against any "offensive" behavior.  All too often we hear of religious Jews throwing stones at secular Jews who drive through their neighborhood on Shabbat.  All too often women in Jerusalem are pressured by religious propaganda  to dress modestly and sit in the back of the bus.  Hell, my best friend who has a new born baby has no problem breast-feeding her baby in public anywhere else but in her hometown, Jerusalem, where she fears she will be ostracized and possibly harmed by the throngs of Religious that are fruitfully multiplying if she even made the attempt.

In a state that fears for it's own survival, the secular Jews are willing to give up their freedoms in favor of maintaining stability within the state. That's how it seems to be going right now and I'm not sure if or when things here will change.

Arab Convicted of Rape After Posing as a Jew Has Jail Time Postponed

Under pressure from the outraged public, the Israeli Supreme Court has delayed the imposition of Sabbar Kashur 18 month jail sentence who was accused of "rape by deception".

In 2008, Sabbar Kashur met an Israeli woman in East Jerusalem, and introduced himself to her as "Dudi", a typically Israeli name, short for David. He then led her to believe he was a bachelor looking for a serious relationship. After spending only a short time together, the two went to a nearby building where they had sex after which Kashur quickly left, without waiting for the woman to dress.

Although the story is a bit unsettling, neither Kashur or the woman deny that the sex was consentutal. However, after she found out that Kashur was not Jewish she filed a criminal complaint for indecent assault and rape. Since she filed her complaint, Kashur has been under house arrest, required to wear an electronic tag on his ankle at all times.

The woman was certainly misled and mistreated, but as the Israeli Supreme Courts have upheld, this was an "unusual" case that, during the course of a plea bargain, landed Kashur with a conviction of "rape by deception". This plea bargain lessened what might have been a full rape sentence, despite the fact that the two had consentual sexual relations.

In light of Kashur's appeal and under pressure from public outcry, the Israeli Supreme Court has ordered a delay on the imposition of Sabbar's sentence and has eased the conditions of his house arrest. 

Yesterday morning, Sabbar was freed from house arrest and allowed a monitored outing with his children in Jerusalem's Malkah Mall where many people stopped to express their support of the court's decision to allow him a short outing.

According to Haaretz.com,

"The petition, submitted by attorney Elkana Laist of the Public Defender's Office, states that the District Court's decision represents a patriarchal attitude in which a man can enjoy sex but a woman can agree to it only if she receives the promise of a sustainable relationship, and only if that relationship is with a person of the same ethnic group.


The petition also states that while Kashur's conduct can be considered immoral, it falls within the type of behavior in which the criminal justice system in an enlightened country does not intervene."

 Kashur's appeal is still pending, but I truly hope to see him released in an act of reason and justice.

Making Aliyah in Tel Aviv- A Glance Back at My First Day as an Israeli Citizen

In light of my most recent post about marriage in Israel, I dug out my ruminations that I sent out to friends and family when I first made Aliyah...way back when I had long hair.

My relationship with Israel is a complicated affair.  You could call it a love/hate relationship, but it's more complicated than that. I think it comes down to the fact that we're both still trying to find ourselves.

Some of you have already read this.  Think of it as a nice refresher. Plus, I edited it a bit so that it reads a bit better.

 My love for this country and my fascination with Israel runs deep, despite the fact that I don't agree with everything that happens here.

Me and my brother in Israel 1995 (gotta love the hats)

"Yesterday morning, it was my turn. After waiting in a large gray hallway lined with uncomfortable gray metal chairs, it was finally my turn.  I'd watched for almost an hour as Russians, Koreans, Vietnamese, French,Spaniards, and Ethiopians jumped up at the call of their mispronounced name and entered the room behind the security guard with a thick Russian accent. 

Now it was my turn. I sat down at a big gray desk and handed over my birth certificate,  a letter from my rabbi confirming my maternal Jewish lineage, and my passport to a thin olive-skinned woman. I bit my nails and tried my best not to look to hung over.

Yesterday morning, a thin olive-skinned woman behind a big gray desk typed a few keys into her computer, made a few photocopies, and suddenly I was an Israeli citizen.  She handed me a small plastic folder with an ID card inside.  "Mazal Tov" she said with a half smile, and then she sent me on my way. She pressed a button to signal that her desk was open to serve the next in a long line of anxious people, and then she turned back to face her computer.

Yesterday morning I walked out of The Office of the Interior in Tel Aviv with my new ID card unsure of what to do next. For some reason, I thought I'd suddenly feel different.  Or, maybe not even feel different, but be different. Or if not that, even, I'd imagined that the staff at the office of the interior might hand me a small plastic Israeli flag, or a bag of
Bamba (Israeli snack food), or the words to the Israeli national anthem, 'HaTikvah', to welcome me as a new citizen of their holy country; to make me feel like this day was somehow special.

But there was none of that -- only a small piece of paper with my photograph and my name and birthday written in Hebrew. So, that's all my citizenship really is? A piece of paper? I came home feeling strange.  The day was incredibly anti-climactic.

At home I discussed my new status with my roommate Liron.  It didn't seem any different than any other conversation we have on any other day.  We sat on the balcony, drank coffee, smoked our cigarettes, and
spoke about little things and big things….in Hebrew.  I've already been living in Israel for over a year.  I already conduct my entire day in Hebrew.

My typical day is already quite "Israeli".  I sit on my mirpeset and drink my instant coffee before walking to work.  I walk the entire length of Tel Aviv at least twice a day, each day changing up the route depending on the weather. When it's too hot, I choose Ben Yehuda Street, which always has shade.  When it's too windy, I choose Dizengoff Street  which shelters from the sea breeze.  When the weather is just right, I walk along the boardwalk and sometimes allow myself a few meters of strolling along the shore. Every so often, I run the 4-kilometer length and shower at the public bathrooms near the Tel Aviv port where I work. 

Walking along the beach is by far my favorite route. I put on my ipod and stroll briskly down King George Street past its discount clothing stores.  I take a right on Allenby at the intersection where the Tel Aviv open-air market makes it's home.  I then pull a left on Ge'ulah, pass a few hotels and finally reach the boardwalk.

Me on the Tel Aviv beach with my friend Nomes

The Tel Aviv beach could never be mistaken for anything but a public beach.  The sand is laden with trash and cigarette butts, there are old men with dark shriveled skin playing Matcot (Paddle ball), and men and women of

all ages walking their dogs along the shoreline.  There are bike riders and runners, and kids playing volleyball.  There are homeless people sleeping on the hot sidewalks, and restaurants with tables in the sand where tourists watch the soft blue waves of the Mediterranean ebb and flow as they eat their Israeli breakfast of eggs, sour
cheese, and cucumber and tomato salad with lemon and olive oil. There are stands of jewelry sellers, portrait artists, and "born again" Orthodox Jews hoping to convert the secular.

One of the reasons that I love Tel Aviv is that it's a bit tacky. Maybe tacky isn't the right word.  Maybe the aesthetics just aren't 'polite'. While the city itself is beautiful and the sea is gorgeous, while most buildings betray their distinctive Bauhaus design and produce stands fill the streets with sweet smells and bright colors,
there is an air of disrepair hanging over Tel Aviv that can't be overlooked.  

Most buildings, even the most beautiful, have paint peeling at each corner of their balconies, and they aren't shy about their water stains or ashamed of their dirt-caked faces.  Most fruit vendors sit in the doorway of their healthy-looking stores, smoking cigarette after cigarette between deep phlegmy coughs.  And even the most important businessmen walk to work in shorts and a button-down linen shirt. Only recently have they implemented the "no jeans policy" in the Knesset. It's as if aesthetics are understood and important, but not important enough. And I take this all in as I walk my hour-long walk to Gilly's restaurant where I work as a hostess.

By the time I get to work, I'm almost always sweaty, and I'm ready for another shot of caffeine. I say 'boker tov' (good morning) to the barman, ask him to make me a cup of black coffee, log myself into the computer, and begin
answering phone calls.  At 9:30am all the waiters and waitresses working the first morning shift sit down to eat breakfast and chat about this and that before the restaurant opens at 10:00. I sit at the table, spooning salad, labane, and shakshuka (Israeli breakfast dish of eggs cooked in a tomato-base) onto my plate, and listen
to their stories.

Breakfast at Gilly's (that's me at the head of the table)

The first word out of my mouth every day is in Hebrew, and the last thing I say before I got to bed is "layla tov" (good night). I've begun to resent Americans who speak English here.  They don't understand the raw
beauty of the Hebrew language.

Last night, while out celebrating my new civil status with a couple pints of beer, my friend noted how different one's voice sounds when speaking Hebrew as opposed to English.  He then pointed to his heart and he said, "Hebrew comes from here".  "English", he said, pointing to his head, "English comes from here".  

And he's right. In Hebrew, there's no other option but to speak the truth.  Hebrew doesn't allow for anything but brutal honesty.  In English, everything is softer, more polite, and takes longer to say; everything is somehow
twisted, and a bit less exact.

Compared to Hebrew, the English-speaking world is a play, a farce, or a choreographed dance of sorts.  If Spanish is a strange magical dream, and French is the language of romance; if Chinese is complex and somewhat mathematical, and Russian is the slurred speech of alcoholism; Hebrew is the language of raw, direct, honest truth.

So maybe that's it. Maybe that's why there are cigarettes scattered along every sidewalk, and why the paint is peeling on almost every building.  Maybe that's why there was grayness and uncomfortable metal chairs and half-smiles yesterday morning.  Maybe that's why I didn't feel any different at all. 

This piece of paper, this small photo-ID, this morning free of ceremony- it all said more than I had realized. It's honest. It's not very polite. It's not sugar coated. There's no celebration, no gifts or kitschy fake smiles. The ID is as plain as plain can be.  It says what needs to be said, and no more. Without a hologram or a laminated seal, it says that I am now a person whose name and birthday and residence are printed … in Hebrew."

My Israeli ID Card

A Jew or Not a Jew....Who can say " I Do" in Israel!?

Finally this makes the news!  It's about time. Respect to Haaretz.com who profiled 29 year old Hillary Rubin in a feature article about marriage in Israel.

The issue of marriage in Israel is wrapped up in serious arguments over Jewish identity, Jewish ceremony and Israeli citizenship because of the fact that Israel is a Jewish state. There is no such thing as civil marriage in Israel.  The only state recognized marriage is through specifically approved religious courts.

Of course, there are massive problems with this to begin with, especially for inter-faith couples who are left on their own.

But the less obvious problem is how the state defines a "Jewish marriage" and how this is complicated by the need,then, to define "Jew".  As is usually the case in Israel, a "Jewish marriage" and the "Jew"  is defined by the Rabbinical court, an authority composed of members who follow only the strictest interpretations of Jewish law.

Couples who want to marry must prove their true Jewishness through their maternal lineage since, according to the Orthodox tradition, Judaism is believed to be "passed down" through the mother's blood. But that's not all. Each partner must bring their parents' marriage certificate to the Rabbinical court  to officially document this Jewish blood. And, each partner must also bring either a letter from an Orthodox Rabbi confirming that he knows the marriage candidate personally and that he/she is Jewish and single, OR instead, they must bring two Jewish witnesses each- witnesses who are not related, who have known the candidate for at least 5 years and who are willing to come to the court to testify that you are single.

In the case of Hillary Rubin who is an Israeli citizen, a Jew, and the granddaughter of a well known Zionist activist, Nahum Sokolow, the Rabbinical court shockingly turned down her marriage request demanding that she show official documentation of her maternal Jewish till four generations back.  According to the Haaretz article,


"The Chief Rabbinate recently enacted new guidelines automatically sending marriage candidates whose parents did not wed in Israel to a local rabbinical court to determine whether they are really Jewish."

This is pure tyranny. No one has these kinds of documents...especially Jews! Jews- who came to Israel after their everything was destroyed in the holocaust. Jews who have for centuries been denied equal rights as citizens of their nation.  Jews who, in what is supposed to be their state, in what is supposed to be their safe haven, their homeland, are being told that they are not Jewish and that they cannot marry in the manner they choose.

It is no wonder that most young couples fly to Cypress or Greece to marry, and return to have a "fake" ceremony with a Conservative or Reform Rabbi who don't require them to prove their Jewishness or partake in rituals they don't believe in.

This story in Haaretz comes appropriately at a time when the "Rotem Bill", the bill regarding the particular requirements for Jewish conversion in the state of Israel, is about to be voted on in the Knesset.  If this bill passes, it may surrender all control over conversions to the extremist Rabbinical court and help usher in an age of fanatic, tyrannical and almost fascist government ruled by the religious right. What was once a homeland for all Jews is slowly turning into a monstrously racist and , I'll say it, anti-semitic state.

Carmel Market in Tel Aviv

Some shots I dug up of the Carmel Market in the springtime. I always loved the juxtaposition of fresh produce, with the trash on the floor and the cigarette smoke fuming from the mouths of the fruit and vegetable vendors. It seems to me the perfect embodiment of Tel Aviv- a mess of beauty and freshness with ugly disrepair and bad habits.

Lettuce Stand

The marketplace culture in Israel is one of the things I really cherish.  The food is fresh and cheap, there is marketplace banter with locals, you find yourself connecting with vendors and returning to them each week, and the smell is a mix of spices, fresh juice, body odor, smoke and sunshine.

Picking Peppers 

 You're on your own in the market.  You push your way through throngs of people pulling carts behind them, ask for prices, and you can bargain, although not all do.

Sometimes you can find beauty in decomposition

 Watch your step especially at the end of the day.  The floor of the marketplace is bound to be covered in mounds of rotting produce, cardboard boxes, plastic bags, and cigarette stubs.  In the Tikvah Market, a massive bulldozer comes through the long pathway at the end of the street to clean out the trash every evening at 8pm.

Vegetable Vendor

Written across the box: "Choice Tomatoes" 

Rays of light brighten every item, but they don't need to be sold.  The produce in Israel is among the tastiest I've ever tasted.  I will never forget when I came to visit Israel with my family when I was 12.  The tomatoes! Oh they were so sweet and juicy. Perfectly firm, and just the right size. When we returned home, I couldn't bring myself to take one bite of those giant colorless tomatoes that find their way into nearly every "house salad".

Sweet Potatoes

 I never likes sweet potatoes till I moved here.  Now I love them. Maybe its maturity.  Maybe its just that they taste better here.  Oh- and no one cooks them with marshmallows. Yeah- whoever thought that that would be a good idea should be shot.

An oil painting of mine inspired by Israel

The Israeli Way: favors that aren't quite favors

This weekend I went with my boyfriend, Yotam, and a number of friends to spend a night on a beach south of Tel Aviv.  These weekends aren't all that infrequent.  They usually consist of a BBQ (Israelis love their BBQing and have a habit of setting up a fire with a metal grill wherever whenever) and drinking with some intermittent swimming.

Typical Israeli BBQ, aka על האש

What is always unique about these events is the way that everyone pitches in.  Someone volunteers to drive (most people don't have cars) someone volunteers to buy meat, another beer, another chips and so on.  If someone doesn't have a car, the group makes calls to friends that don't mind lending them one.  If someone doesn't have a grill- the same.  The notion that it's impolite to ask, doesn't exist.

Let me clarify.

Our beach weekend began at Kibbutz Palmachin, a kibbutz right on the beach. An old friend of one of our buddies named Noam happens to live there in a beautiful house with a lawn and a view of the ocean (both of these are very rare).

Kibbutz Palmachim

It was not question: Of course the eight of us could come and use his house and his yard and his kitchen for our BBQ.  We were welcome to whatever.

We showed up with all our shit at dusk (never mind the constant phone calls back and forth as we got lost and needed clearer directions to his place) and threw 30 beers in Noam's freezer and fridge.  We threw the rest of our food in his kitchen while he and his girlfriend got ready to leave for a family dinner.  Before we went for a short walk on the beach, he left us his key and told us to have fun. And that was that.

The eight of us took a stroll, came back and set up Noam's grill.

We used his coals, some of his spices, paper cups, plates and knives. Three hours were spent in his front yard drinking, cooking, eating while he was away.  Neighbors of his walked by.  "You want to eat?" we asked. "Come, have something to eat. Come."  When we needed a candle, we just knocked on the door of the nearest house.  They brought us one with a smile.

When Noam and his girlfriend returned they happily sat with us, despite the fact that they knew only about 2/8ths of us and we returned the key. We sat together, drank together, and then cleaned up.  We said our goodbyes, invited them to come meet us at the beach for some fun and games before bed, and that was that.

Would this EVER happen in the states?!

Palmachim Beach, where we slept

Tel Aviv Vs. Jerusalem

There has been a lot of debate among the young 20-30 somethings about which city is queen. To be fair, the debate reacher far past the highschool halls of sixteen year olds in the scouts and even beyond the cocktail hours of our beloved elders. Statistics even have a say here, making their mark in what appears to be a huge decline in young singles and a massive increase in religious numbers of all walks of life: international othrodox, cnservatives and even reform jews making aliyah as well as the infinite number of children being bornto religious Jewish family units.

But, when it comes down to it...why would a young, free thinking Israeli choose to live in one city or the other?

Here I'll lay out the basic qualities that both draw and detract visitors from both cities.

Jeruslaem:

• History: this is the first place for Jews and non-Jews to feel holy in face of and despite religious differences. This is the city most religious Jews flock to because of its connection to the Jewish past and the bible. It is also the city that most religious non-Jews flock to for very similar reasons. There is somehing special about the old city and the fact that it you still feel like you're traveling back in time when you walk through the gates and wander around the city and through the marketplaces.

Old City of Jerusalem

• Universities: There are at least two really wonderful universities in Jerusalem which draw most of the young secular Israelis to the city: Hebrew University and Bezalel Academy of Arts and Design. Both are thought to be top rate academic institutions- Bezalel being considered the top art school in all of Israel.

Hebrew University Campus in Winter

• Diversity: Because the city draws people from all over the world including journalists and politicians (Jerusalem is also the country's capital) there is a certian kind of diversity. While this usually isn't political diversity (most residents lean to the right, if not very far right) it is racial, ethnic and international diversity. However, sometimes it can be annoying that so many people speak only English. You can pretty much get by in Jerusalem without learning any Hebrew.
• Less Materialism: While there is a brand new high-end mall that was built right outside of the old city to lure tourists, there is not really a materialistic feel in Jerusalem. There's far less of the "seen and be seen" culture, not as much of a cafe culture, and the pick-up bar scene is pretty moderate. This makes the interaction between people, especially among young, secular Israelis, very warm and friendly. No one is judging, people are very open, and typically they are also quite easygoing.
• Weather: It's no coincidence that one of the famous lines of "Jerusalem of Gold" translates as "mountain air clear as wine and the smell of oranim flowers". This is the truth. The air is clear, mountain air, low humidity, with very beautiful hills and gorgeous foliage. They also get a fair ammount of rain, the winters are cool and actually feel like winter. However, this means that wintertime can get pretty depressing, cold and grey since Israel's archatecture isn't really built for cold weather.

Snow in Jerusalem, 2008

• Danger: Jerusalem is a target and it is right next to Arab villages filled with Arabs who aren't very happy about Israel's existance. This, mixed with the fact that numerous fundamental religious Jews who hate Arabs also live in close proximity, make it a very tense place. It's all about control really- I mean, I'd say that reform and conservative Jews also don't feel 100% comfortable there- being that there is such strong stigma against their customs and ways in this holy city.

Tel Aviv:

• Beach!!!! This is a beach city. It's filled with leafy avenues, and the summer welcomes packed beaches, bikinis, icecream trucks and the smell of suntan lotion. This is one of the reasons that people here look so fit. They are always in shape becuase bikini season is every season.



Tel Aviv Beach

• Young and Vibrant: Tel Aviv is filled with young people. Young people that are working hard to live there because they think it's fabulous and they want to be part of that fabulousness. People go out to eat and drink a lot. There are great restaurants, concerts, and events. There is a big pick-up-bar scene and lots of gay bars. Fashion and style is way more important and there is definitely a cafe lifestyle here. There's even a dog-culture here of dog walkers and dog sitters - very nyc.
• Unique Aesthetic: There is something unique about the Tel Aviv aesthetic. It is almost ugly. Most of the buildings aren't upkept, although more and more are being restored- especially the famous bouhaus specimens. This makes Tel Aviv a fascinating place to walk around. Each neighborhood has really defining characteristics. The beach definitely makes it beautiful, as do many of the central squares, but some are still poorly designed and leave much to be desired.

Tel Aviv Bouhaus

• Modern and Progressive...BUT: Tel Aviv is friendly to the progressive, liberal capitalist. But, it is still Israeli. It is NY without the suits, Miami without the rich, Buenos Aires without the history, and don't expect anything to be polite there. Getting on a bus is still a bit third world. It involves pushing and shoving and knowing where you are and where you want to get off. There is not really any info on the bus or at the stop. You have to ask people.
• The Best Parties: If you are young and you like going out- If you want to see the most famous musicians from around the globe perform, if you want to go to cool new bars, if you want to see the best local musicians perform or have a taste of an all night trance party, tel aviv is the palce to be.
• Jobs:It's not that there aren't jobs in Jerusalem, but there are just more in Tel Aviv. What can I say - it is a more modern, more international and more progressive city.
• Yafo: It's part of the city, it's mostly Arab and it has the bext hummus places around. The port has been rennovated with new winde bars, restaurants, galleries and more, while the rougher neighborhoods have remained authentically rough.

Old Yafo Port

Valentines Day in Tel Aviv

Like every other holiday in Israel that tries to be commercial and follow in the footsteps of the USA, Tu B'Av is a complete bomb. Tu B'Av, meaning literally the 15th day of the month of Av, is also known as Hag Ha'Ahava (The Love Holiday). It's far calmer than Valentine's Day. Let's put it this way, no one brought chocolate to the office today and not one of my friends asked me where my boyfriend was taking me out to dinner tonight.

So, to show some love for a holiday that should be loved by all, here are a few romantic gestures.

Vintage Greetings Card

This vintage greeting card is both adorable and obscene. Who thought it was a good idea to draw a little boy pumping a large phallus dripping hearts next to a young girl? She looks like she either wants to dive into the pool below or like she's praying to God that she won't got to hell for this.

Beautifully Blossoming Bouquet

This bouquet is simply exquisite. Just looking at the picture makes me all warm inside. No, my boyfriend did NOT get my a bouquet that is this stunning. Should I tell him he is a naughty boy!?

So cute!

I absolutely love these little candies, despite the fact that they taste like chalk. But they just look so adorable in a glass bowl and they are definitely fun to have around when you're drinking.

Doodles of Love

I think my notebooks in 7th grade looked exactly like this!!! Except the pages probably had I *heart* Jared Leto scattered throughout the pink and red hearts.

Is the Israeli government turning Fascist?!

I thought it was a simple case of "lost in translation" when I heard that an Israeli Arab man was arrested and convicted of rape after having consensual sex with a woman. It turns out, I got the Hebrew 100% right.  The man was arrested for rape after having consensual sex.

The story goes like this.  Sabbar met an Israeli woman in downtown Jerusalem and allegedly told her that he was a "Jewish bachelor seeking a serious relationship".  Only minutes later they were copulating in a building nearby.  Then Sabbar left.

Somehow the woman "found out" that Sabbar was not Jewish, and when that happened the sh*t hit the fan. She took him to court, claiming rape. (No one asked him if he would be willing to convert.)

Granted, Sabbar is married with two children and did mislead the woman, this somehow wasn't a big issue in the trial.  And according to Sabbar, she was looking for some action.  He said that while he was leaving a supermarket, some woman in her 20s started to chat with him.  "I would say she set upon me," Sabbar Said, "She was interested in my motorcucle and so we talked.  I didn't pretend.  I said my name is Dudu because that's how everbody knows me.  My wife even calls me that."

Oh! So she assumed he was Jewish because of his name?! Anyway, it doesn't sound like she was that picky.  I have a feeling the conversation went something like this:

woman: "Hey hot stuff..  I like your motorcycle.  It's really sexy"
Sabbar: "Uh, You talking to me?
woman: "Yeah, that's right baby.  Vvvrrooom."
Sabbar: "--"
woman: "I'm x"
Sabbar: "I'm Dudu."
woman: " You know, I'm so lonely these days.  I haven't had sex in years."
Sabbar: "mm."
woman: " I mean, I'm just looking for a man right now who might be able to, you know, fill my needs."
Sabbar: "Hmm, is that right?"
woman: "You know it.--You don't, by any chance, happen to be a bachelor looking for a serious relationship?"

And there you have it.

According to an article posted by Haaretz, the decision was based on a precedent from 2008 in which a man was convicted for rape after he impersonated a senior official in the Housing Ministry and he would get them housing in exchange for sex.

I do see the two cases as being completely different.  I mean, this impostor sounds like a freaking rapist who specifically told them misleading information to bargain for quickie.  It's more like prostitution really- I mean the housing was supposed to be some kind of payment, no?

This Sabbar sounds like your average guy who was approached by a chic that just wanted a roll in the hay.  What, does a man have to fill out a questionnaire for a woman every time he wants to sleep with her?  If this woman really cared about Sabbar's background, she wouldn't have had sex with him only minutes after meeting him.

Justice Elyakim Rubinstein was quoted as saying that a man should be convicted of rape any time he "does not tell the truth regarding critical matters to a reasonable woman, and as a result of misrepresentation she has sexual relations with him."

He went on to say that one should imagine whether a regular person would expect said woman to sleep with said man if he wasn't what he said he was.  

I'm wondering now what happens to men who tell women that they are good at basket ball, math, science- whatever, and then in the morning, it turns out they suck at it.  Can the women, then accuse him of rape?

What is the world coming to?