Tel Aviv During Exam Time

The only thing frustrating about the semester schedule in Israel is the fact that vacation seems to come unbelievably late.  Yes, it's great having the high-holidays off in the fall, but the whole Moed Bet thing and paper extensions does make me a bit crazy. I'm a girl who needs clearly defined deadlines and lots of over the shoulder criticism in order to get me going.  This simply doesn't happen here.

What is Moed Bet, you might ask? Moed Bet is the second round of exam dates for anyone who couldn't, wouldn't or didn't make it to the real exam, or who got their grade back from the real exam and didn't like it. Being a spoiled graduate of a small liberal arts institution, I was unaware that anything like this could ever exist. Where I come from there is one date and one date only for exams.  There is no such thing as a make-up exam except for very special and particular cases which typically involve hospitalization, deaths in the family and the likes.

From what I understand, Moed Bet came about due to 1) the previous frequency of student strikes, teacher strikes and university worker strikes which made life difficult for everyone, 2) the army reserves which calls back nearly all young men who have served their three years to train with their squad every year or so, depending on the political situation, and 3) the craziness of life as a student here with most students working part time to pay rent and tuition during the school year. 

Now, I see the benefits of Moed Bet, I certainly do.  Especially since I woke up the day of my Moed Aleph (First exam date) for my Shakespeare course, with a completely stiff neck.  Unable to even get out of bed, I decided to simply lie back and relax as much as possible.  I would just take the text a month later. 

But, the month later has arrived and I realize that all the information that was fresh in my mind, all the opportunities I had to be at school and discuss relevant topics with my teachers, has simply vanished.  I've forgotten I ever took classes during the spring of 2010 - that's how distant the school year seems. 

I am left desperately struggling to find some way to muster the drive, ambition and motivation I need to write two papers and get through this exam.  The exam, at least, requires physical attendance and therefore is essentially unavoidable that I will get through it.  The papers, well, let's just say they are a bit more abstract!

Just When I thought Israeli's had totally given up on reading....

Book Week
Yes, I know that the first week in June was "Book Week" (שבוע הספר) but, really, in Israel, all that means is crazy discounts on books in one of their two bookstore chains: Stiematsky and Tzomet Sfarim (Translation: book juction). There were no events in libraries, nothing too special on TV. In short, it was more commercial than anything else. Just because people buy lots of books, it doesn't mean they read them.

Why am I telling you this? Because I was already certain that Israel had completely lost interest in investing in books, libraries and education.

Tel Aviv University Library
I mean, the best library in Tel Aviv is the Tel Aviv University library,which I have to say is pretty crappy. but compared to the other libraries, which, I'd say most people haven't even heard of, it's the best.

If it is the best library in Tel Aviv, what could be so bad about it, you might ask?

First of all, in order to even use the library, you have to be a student with a student card. Secondly, even if you are a student, you aren't allowed in with a bag. Now this shouldn't be all that problematic, considering there are a number of locker-stalls down stairs. However, the locker stalls can only be operated with the insertion of a ten shekel coin. And no one ever seems to have a ten shekel coin on them. Of course, there are no change machines in the library lobby. You either have to buy a snack or beverage with a large bill (neither of which you are allowed to bring INTO the library to eat or drink) or you have to exit the library and find someone nice to change your bills.

When you finally get all of this done with, you have to figure out how to use their ridiculously complicated catalogue which makes it very clear how disorganized their books are. Their numbers make no sense. Books in the 140s are near 900.3. Books that are 800-830 are on one floor, but 830-850 are on another floor. And finally 850-900 are across the hall. You can't seem to be able to find anything.

The worst part about it is that most books are out. Those that aren't out are scattered around the library somewhere other than where they are supposed to be.

Also, the selection isn't THAT amazing. There are many books that you would expect a library to have that thy simply don't have. Plus, there are hardly any children's books. Movies and DVDs are out of the question as are interesting magazines.

And Yet!

Literary Corner in Tel Aviv Slum
Haaretz just posted an article about a group of artists and activists called ARTEAM that have put together an outdoor artinstallation/library in one of the dirtiest parks in Tel Aviv. Levinsky park is right next to the new bus station, so you can just imagine how serene the surroundings are with buses and service taxis rushing by every few seconds. Plus, the area is completely neglected by the municipality. Most of the time, the park is filled with benign migrant workers intermingled with drunkards, homeless, drug addicts, drug dealers and your neighborhood pimps.

According to Haaretz, the team catered to the multicultural community, looking for books in all different languages, including Turkish, Arabic and Nepali.

Are They Serious!?
My question is, do they really think this is going to do ANYTHING? I mean, how long do they think the books will be there before everyone comes and steals them and then goes and sells them in the Yafo flea market? There needs to be infrastructure to programs like this. The whole art-installation library thing is a nice idea and I'm sure it made the ARTEAM volunteers feel good, like they did a good deed and made an effort to raise awareness about an impoverished community, but it is clear to me that this will not last.

What do you think? Comments?

The Slums of Tel Aviv

Not everyone knows about them, but there are definitely slums in Tel Aviv. That's not to say that the entire city doesn't look a bit slummy sometimes, but there are certain areas that are significantly slummier than others. I've lived in nearly all of them. I've decided to categorize the top five slums in Tel Aviv according to the following criteria:

1) Ability to walk down street without men whistling at me
2) Ability to walk down street without cars stopping, mistaking me for a whore
3) Ability to walk down street without tripping over a drunk homeless person
4) Number of languages spoken in neighborhood that aren't Hebrew
5) Smelliness of trash +food
6) Number of shouting matches that occur during the course of 24 hours
7) Number of violent fights that break out on the street

8) Number of cats
9) Number of old ladies who feed the cats
10) Total number of friends who will not give me a ride home because they are scared of driving through the neighborhood.

After doing some rough calculations.....drum roll please.... I present you with:

Tel Aviv's Top Ten Slums!!!!
10)Neve Gan: Ok, to be quite honest with you, I really don't know anything about this area. But this guy that I work with keeps telling me how run down it is, so I'm just going to have to believe him.
9)Neve Sharet: Um, yea. Ditto.
8) Givat Hertzel: too industrial to be a slum, really, but it sits right in between three big slums- so let's just say it's a slum crossing.
7) Florentine: it's dirty and there's shit and drug addicts everywhere, but somehow it's also chic!
6) Shapira: Lots of drunk old men with no teeth, and plenty of fat, old prostitutes.
5) Neve Sha'an: The red light district of tel aviv, with some multicultural flair. The whole area smells like a mix of curry and b.o.
4) Hatikvah: high crime rate, poor families, plenty of police patrol and way way too many stray animals.
3) Yafo Alef: Just moving into Yafo. Fewer old ladies feeding cats. More old men smoking cigarettes and being nasty.
2)Schunay Chisachon: Industrial.
1)Ajami: I mean, they made a freakin movie about it. And that movie scared the crap out of me.

I'm not a bi#@$, I'm just really really really judgemental

Nothing is good enough unless its new enough or strange enough that I can't yet wrap my head around it. This means I am easily frustrated and more easily disappointed. I find I follow a pattern that goes something like this: meet someone, like them, meet them again, like them a bit more, meet them a third time and really get to know them, like them way less.

I've also realized that there are actually upsides to living in a place where you don't always understand what people are saying. First of all, you can't judge their intelligence level by your stupid standards. I mean, if your grasp of the language is elementary and you obviously don't want them to judge you, then how can you judge them!? And, moreover, if you don't understand the stupid things that people are saying to you, then they don't bother you nearly as much.

I'm pretty sure that when I first moved here I thought everyone was awesome. Everyone that was friendly to me, that is. I mean, I was so happy that someone was actually being nice to be and trying to have a conversation with me, and I just couldn't understand them well enough to judge them. This is life in a second language. Slang goes over your head. You can't catch every word. You're not quite sure if you heard them right, and especially unsure if you articulated yourself correctly. A simple conversation becomes a sort of struggle to achieve a basic human desire: communication. The struggle makes any conversation, whether it be about the weather or about toilet habits, simply worth the while.

Now that there is no struggle and my fluency is at a relatively high level.....
I realize that I am totally a judgmental whore.
Once I got a hang of the accents (some are totally JAPy, others are really trashy, still others are hipped out kibbutz-like) I could tell right off the bat what kind of person I was talking to. It only got worse when I started to understand the words that were coming out of their accented mouths.

Does this mean that ignorance is bliss? You tell me.

Two Weddings and a Culture Shock

The Israeli Wedding

(well a certain kind of Israeli...)

If there is one thing that I love about Israeli culture, it is the way the secular (and tasteful secular) throw a wedding. They really know how to get married.

Let me be clear here. The kind of Israeli weddings I'm about to describe are weddings of a very specific demographic. These are typically university educated, secular Israelis who are of an Ashkenasi background. The couple is usually liberal minded, or at least liberal-ish, and so are their friends and family. These couples represent a rather large percentage of Tel Aviv, which is really why I love the city so very much.

So, what makes these weddings so spectacular?

Well, it isn't the flowers or the centerpieces.

In general, there is far less ceremony and far more, well, 'getting to the point'. From what I've gathered, the point of a wedding for this specific demographic isn't to ramble on about true love and to express your intimate connection to the world; it isn't a day for the bride to play princess; nor is it a day to celebrate God. Rather, it is a day to celebrate friends, family, and new beginnings. It is a celebration- a party with the people who you can afford to invite. Typically these people are your close friends and family who simply want to help you celebrate like you've never celebrated before.

The Engagement

The anti-ceremony begins with the engagement. The engagement is announced casually and usually only a few months before the wedding. It's very rare for couples to be engaged for longer than 6 months. One year is probably the maximum. Two years is unheard of.

The Invitation

No one makes elaborate "Save the date" posters or videos or reminders. People talk to their friends, figure out how many people they can afford to bring, how many people want to come, and then they send out an invitation. Usually, they design it themselves and print it cheaply. The American custom of having the parents invite the guests and officialize on the invitation that they are the paying hosts simply does not exist in Israel. The couple invites everyone and does things the way they want.

Attire

The dress code, as it is for nearly every event in Israel, is casual. While the bride typically wears white, most brides choose a more simple style. The groom usually dons a clean pair of trousers and white linen shirt in lieu of the suit, although it does happen on rare occasions that you see a groom in a jacket and tie. The tuxedo is simply absurd and unheard of.

Many guests come to the wedding straight from work with no time to shower or change. And that's normal. My boyfriend typically wears jeans, and many women wear pants.

Most event spaces are outdoors, as the wedding season runs from late May to early July: it's hot this time of year, but not too hot, and it never rains.

Welcome to the Wedding: would you like a drink?

These weddings properly begins with a cocktail hour. The bar is open, people arrive, bride and groom greet their guests. There is mingling, music, drinking, hour d'oeuvres and excitement. This goes on for about an hour so that everyone is pleasantly drunk. Then, the marriage ceremony under the Chuppah begins.

The Chuppa

Everyone rambles towards the chuppah, drink IN HAND. There are no bride's maids, no flower girls, no best men. No girls wearing the same horrid dress. No freaked out wedding planner running around before the ceremony to make sure the best man has the ring and that everything is perfect. It's not a production. It's as stress free as it can be. In fact, most of the time, there aren't even seats. I mean, there isn't this whole thing with guests sitting a watching a long procession of awkward little girls and boys throw flowers, badly dressed women and men in suits walk down the isle, and then standing up to get a look at the bride who, FOR GOD'S SAKE is wearing a VEIL so you can't even see her face, but you still feel like you have to photograph her because she's supposedly soooo beautiful.....

No, no, no. At these weddings, guests stand gathered around the Chuppah with their wine and champaign, in front of the happy couple and family standing together with the Rabbi. The ceremony lasts 20 minutes at the most. When I say, at the most, I mean it. a 20 minute ceremony is LONG.

Digression: Because Israel is a Jewish state, any civil marriage requires Jewish couples to follow the strictest Jewish marriage ritual laws. Thees include an interview at the Rabbinical court, Torah study, and, for the woman, a ritual bathing in a pool of water called a Mikveh. The union is only recognized if the ceremony is conducted by an orthodox rabbi, and only if it follows the traditional orthodox ceremonial steps exactly. While some more religious couples of my generation appreciate these traditions, most of my friends are secular.

To avoid this orthodox regiment, many young secular couples choose to marry abroad throw a celebratory party with a symbolic Jewish ceremony upon their return. This has become quite a trend among secular Jewish couples of my generation. This may be one of the reasons why the ceremony is so easily whittled down to the bear minimum, but I'm not quite certain.

Once the ceremony is over, and the groom breaks the glass, everyone yells mazel tov and stampedes the bride and groom to congratulate them and share in their excitement. Then, it's party time!

This is a real party.

The Party

Sometimes the food is served right away, typically buffet style. Most of the time guests are starving- the ceremonies frequently don't begin till 8:30, meaning that it's 9:00pm by the time anyone sees their dinner. People get food, or dance, or open bottles of wine. I'm always a fan of buffet style. being a vegetarian, I can actually east salads, potatoes and rice without having to pick steak or chicken off my plate. Plus you eat when you want to, not when you are served. You aren't stuck at your table listening to people make bad speeches because there typically aren't any speeches.

There is also no wasting money on a wedding cake that no one wants to eat. There are deserts, yes, and of course there is coffee, but there is no cutting of the cake.

The weddings that are the most fun are those where the friends go straight to the dance floor to boogie down and start ordering shots. Then there are usually performances by good friends and family: sometimes there are videos, other times musical performances and sometimes even circus acts.

The party typically goes on until dawn, with the old people leaving when they want to. The music typically evolves from a few traditional chuppa numbers (hora, etc) to fun dance songs for all generations, to trance late night for the young kids. It's alright to come just for the ceremony and leave if you have to get back home. No one gets offended.

The Gift

That's really the key here- no one gets offended and everything is less complicated. Nearly everyone brings money, and the custom is to bring at least the amount that the couple spent on you by having you at their wedding. This typically rounds up to about 200 shekels, if not a bit more (50 dollars plus).

It's just a good time had all 'round without all that other awkwardness. It's a fund party without the "to-do"

Plus, having a wedding outside means you usually have some sort of great view- and sometimes even a swimming pool!!!!

World of Judaica: Your One Stop Shop for Jewish News, Jewish Humor and Jewish Education

*sponsored post*

The new hotsite for Jewish news, Jewish humor and Jewish education is here.  Please welcome the World of Judaica website.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is a site that I believe you should make time to visit- and if you like it, save it in your favorites...that's what I did.

Why?

Well, I'll tell you why. First off, it's extremely informative.Chock full of articles about everything you didn't know anything about such as Etrog&Lulav sets, Brass Menorahs, and Business Blessings, World of Judaica's information is surprisingly easy to navigate, to-the-point, and super-educational.   It's a great resource for anyone who wants to know a bit more about the Jewish holidays, Jewish rituals or traditional Jewish jewelry and garb. I mean, even some of my Jewish Educator friends are reading this stuff.

Second, their blog "Oy Vey" is hands down...hillarious.  You MUST check it out.  Seriously. While it's definitely male-centric, and somewhat religious, the posts are witty, clever, short, and they cover well, pretty much everything. One of my favorite posts is by writer RafiF who rambles on about the horrifying, yet exhilarating experience of watching his wife give birth to their first baby.

Finally, their Jewish News section is also a great place to get your updates. While I wouldn't stay that their news articles are 100% neutral, the World of Judaica Jewish News team certainly covers the big stories and the side stories...with a focus on Israel.  I've already bookmarked in my browser and check their articles weekly.

So, if you are looking for a place to get some good, interesting and informative Jewish info,check out World of Judaica.  I think it has some serious potential. 

Do We Look Like Criminals?

About three weeks ago, Yotam and I moved. Our new place is located in Hatikvah neighborhood, about a five minute bike ride or a ten minute walk from our old place in Shapira neighborhood. Neither apartments are far from the central bus station, right at the south- edge of Tel Aviv. Most North-Tel-Avivians and suburbanites consider these to be dangerous areas. They are riddled with immigrants from the Philippines, Nigeria, Sudan, Ethiopia, Bucharia and Russia. The streets are dirty and the houses are in even poorer condition than the average crumbling Tel Aviv apartment buildings.

Our old neighborhood, Shapira, was notorious for its nearby, and rather small, 'red-light-district' where scantily-clad, sickly-looking women work the corners near streets lined with topless bars and peep-shows. Our new apartment, further away from the prostitution, is closer to the street-filth. With an outdoor marketplace right nearby, nightfall ushers in all sorts of surprises. The streets are littered with garbage from the morning, and the alcoholics stumble about.

These conditions never seem to seriously impinge on my personal life. Sometimes the streets smell, but by the morning the trash has been collected and the streets cleaned. I've never been assaulted, followed, or accosted by anyone. If someone thinks I'm something I'm not, I tell them, and that's the end of the story. Nevertheless, I took comfort in seeing police cars patrolling our streets. That is, until now.

A week after we'd moved into our new place, Yotam and I headed out to visit friends. Our first stop: Noa and Nir for a home cooked meal. We were without a working kitchen, waiting for renovations to begin, and desperate for a nice, warm meal. Our second stop: the old apartment. We stopped in to visit our old roommate, Gil, have a smoke, and pick up painting supplies and shelves we'd left behind. By the time we began to make our way home, it was already around 1:00am and we were tipsy. But, we made it home in one piece. I left Yotam downstairs to untie the shelves and painting supplies from his bike and brought mine up to our apartment. When I went back downstairs to help Yotam with the rest of our things, I was met with a crowd of police. They had detained Yotam and were questioning both of us.The entire thing seemed so absurd that I had difficulty keeping a straight face. They began asking me all sort of ridiculous questions, like how I know him, what we were doing there, what Yotam was doing there, and why we were out of the house. The strange thing is, they didn't even ask for our ID cards. I thought it would have been quite obvious just from chatting with us for a few moments that we were upstanding citizens, high-achieving students and good people, but it took them a good 30 minutes to release us. They questioned me, detained Yotam, sent me back into the house which I was reluctant to comply with, and then demanded I come back down again. We were tired, it was after 1am, and I started getting nervous. What did they want with us?

Well, in the end, just as we'd expected, they let us go and left us alone. Stupid police. All I can say is, we're lucky this didn't happen to us in the States.