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*The stunning photo in the header of my blog is all thanks to Ron Shoshani. Visit his facebook page for more of his amazing photographs of Tel Aviv!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Israeli Carob Trees Smell Like Sex

 
The Israeli carob tree smells like semen. It smells like wet, fresh, potent semen. Yes, I'm talking about what some of you out there refer to as sperm, cum, jizz,baby batter,man chowder, man seed, nut, protein shake or spooge.

Seriously, I have no idea how I never noticed this until this year, my fourth in Israel.  Maybe, after cutting down on my casual smoking my sense of smell has been revived.  Maybe this year, the autumn scents have been especially strong. or maybe its hormonal. Whatever the reason, it has become overwhelming.

It started in October, the beginning of blooming season, and, despite the fact that it's December, the smell still lingers. Tel Aviv, Haifa, Eilat, you name it. In Jerusalem it's especially obscene. It's inescapable, really. I smell it on my bike rides to work, on my walks down the street, and on short weekend hikes.

The likeness is so uncanny that I frequently find myself peering into dark corners searching for the perv who might be standing there jacking off, or the couple who might be getting off by messing around in public.  But I always end up face to face with the nasty Israeli carob tree.

Gag me.
Obscene Carob Tree Photo courtesy of survivaliq.com

2 comments:

  1. Not giving my name for this oneMarch 19, 2011 at 1:57 PM

    Thank you for naming the culprit. I've been wondering about this for YEARS and it's not the kind of thing you can easily bring up casually in conversation. I recently made aliyah with my young children who have never been here before, and the first time we walked into a courtyard and were hit by the offensive scent, my innocent preschooler commented, "it smells yucky here." True that.

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